Witnessing Nature's Cycles of Renewal and Healing with Slow Photographer J.M. Golding

In this episode of Art Heals All Wounds, guest J.M. Golding, a photographic artist from the Bay Area, shares her unique approach to analog photography, emphasizing the powerful connections between nature, self, and others that her work seeks to capture. The discussion dives deep into the art of "slow photography," the spontaneity of using plastic toy cameras, and the wonder of pinhole camera techniques and lumen prints. 

Key Discussion Points:

·       Spontaneity and Dreamlike Photography: J.M. Golding reveals how using plastic toy cameras and vintage techniques fosters a connection with the unpredictable and imperfect elements that make her images dreamlike and deeply evocative.

·       Lumen Prints and Pinhole Wonders: Learn about the intriguing process of creating lumen prints and how Golding explores photography without a camera. Through pinhole cameras, she captures the simple beauty of a "box of air" making an image.

·       Connection to Nature and Internal Experiences: Golding discusses how her photography reflects her internal experiences and often anticipates future events, showcasing nature's cycles, as seen in her series "From Destruction Grows A Garden of the Soul."

·       Post-Fire Healing: Delve into the story of Golding's "Fire Followers" photographs, documenting the regeneration of nature after wildfires and drawing parallels to personal healing and the cycles of renewal in nature.

·       Environmental Reflections and Interconnectedness: The conversation touches on the urgency of recognizing our interconnectedness with nature, exploring topics like climate change, and the role of imagination and creativity in finding solutions.

·       Embracing Slow Photography: Pam and J.M. discuss the importance of slowing down both in art and life, advocating for a mindful approach to creativity that encourages reflection and presence.

Featured Series and Artwork:

·       "From Destruction Grows A Garden of the Soul"

·       "The Seeds of Its Own Renewal"

·       "Wildflower" series "After the Fire"

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Báyò Akómoláfé


University of Florida Center for Arts in Medicine

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Transcript

Pam Uzzell [00:00:12]:
Do you believe art can change the world? So do I! On this show, we meet artists whose work is doing just that. Welcome to Art Heals All Wounds. I'm your host, Pam Uzzell. It's the new year. We've pushed past whatever lazing about we did over the holidays, and we are back on track, pushing harder to get where we want to go. We're gonna move fast and break things! Just kidding.

Pam Uzzell [00:00:58]:
Times are urgent. Let us slow down.Jennifer Baxley Lee, an amazing teacher from the University of Florida Center For Arts in Medicine, shared this idea during a seminar I took last year. This idea is from Nigerian writer, poet, and philosopher, Báyò Akómoláfé. So many things are implied in this idea of slowing down, but one thing I took away was the question, will doing more according to a broken narrative help or solve anything? What would it mean to slow down enough to reconsider ourselves, the earth, our narratives? The more we face the impacts of climate change, the more we realize that we're not separate from the earth or from nature, and that the narratives of nature as resources for our consumption are false. We aren't masters of the environment, we are the environment. If we position ourselves differently in a new narrative, how might that shape our actions? This idea of slowing down was on my mind a lot during my conversation with today's artist. J.M. Golding is a photographer based in the Bay Area.

Pam Uzzell [00:02:21]:
J.M. uses light and time to reveal beautiful and unexpected images of the natural world. I connected with J.M. around a series she did on wildflowers that appeared after a particularly devastating fire in California, and I quickly became a fan of her other landscapes and images of natural life, and her exploration of slow and uncontrolled beauty, through her photographs that provide space for nature to speak.You want to know how you can really help me keep this show going? Follow me on your favorite listening app. So easy, right? And if you really want to give the show a boost, leave me a 5 star rating or review. Hi, J.M. Thank you so much for being on Art Heals All Wounds. Can you start by telling us who you are and what you do?

J.M. Golding [00:03:30]:
Hi, Pam. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate being here. I'm a photographic artist based in the Bay Area, and I mostly photograph in nature. I love being in natural environments and, and I love images derived from or images of nature. And I experience the world of nature as kind of reflecting our experience inside of us. So that's a really important piece of it for me. And I work in analog photographic processes.

J.M. Golding [00:04:01]:
So I use film, cyanotype, silver gelatin paper. I like using plastic cameras or toy cameras, which even the lens is plastic. And so you get these wonderful, blurry, dreamlike images. I like pinhole cameras, vintage film cameras, and camera less photography.

Pam Uzzell [00:04:20]:
Yeah. Your website with your work is an absolute delight for the senses and the emotions. When I first opened it up, the section that are naming all the different series read like a poem. I thought it was a poem on your website, and I thought this is really beautiful. And then I realized like, oh, I can click on this and go to a series. And then the titles of some of your photographs really almost made me cry. Oh. Yeah.

Pam Uzzell [00:04:56]:
It's such rich work that you do. And you and I connected and you told me about this project that you did after devastating wildfires swept through Northern California. And I wanted to talk to you about it for this series I'm doing on climate and the environment. Can you talk about what that series is?

J.M. Golding [00:05:24]:
Sure. Yeah. The name of the series is From Destruction Grows A Garden of the Soul. And this started in in September of 2013. There was a huge fire in on a mountain here in the Bay Area, or at least it was considered huge at the time. I'm not sure exactly what's happened with fire sizes in the last decade or so, but over 3,000 acres of this mountain wilderness burned. And I went to photograph there after the fire as people were allowed in. And then again the following spring and then the spring after that.

J.M. Golding [00:05:59]:
And, there was no common technique in the photos. I allowed myself to just use black and white film, color film, bunch of different cameras. The only thing they have in common is being in that place at that time. And so, at first, right after the fire I just thought it would be kind of visually interesting to be there. I mean how often, you know, at the time did I get a chance to do that? Unfortunately, it's become much more, there are many more opportunities. But I also wanted to walk there because there was a circumstance in another part of my life where that was making me feel kind of burned and I felt like the mountain understood me. So I walked and photographed there and I found myself reminded of another fire. The one that a fire that had occurred in the foothills a few years before that.

J.M. Golding [00:06:52]:
And at that time I was losing someone who was very close to me and I really counted on being able to walk in those foothills as a way to manage the loss. And almost immediately before the loss finally occurred, the foothills burned. You know, there was my way to cope. Destroyed. And the person I was losing said to me, The land will heal. You'll see. And, of course, I was in the middle of losing and so I didn't feel like the land would heal or that I would. And so now fast forward to the spring of 2014 after the fire on the mansion.

J.M. Golding [00:07:32]:
I read an article, that said that there were these special wildflowers blooming there. The article called Fire Followers. They said they only bloom in the aftermath of an unusually hot fire. So maybe only once or twice in a person's lifetime. Although again, unfortunately, I think it may well have become more common than that. And I mean I love wildflowers anyway. And a friend of mine, when I was talking with her about this said, you know, you have to go photograph those. And when I went that spring I couldn't deny it.

J.M. Golding [00:08:04]:
The mountain really was healing. I could see the evidence in front of me. It was full of this just incredible rare beauty. And by then the foothills had had healed too. The, you know, the grasses had grown back and stuff and it felt like, you know, as I thought about it that the land's healing reflected internal healing that I experienced and new connections that had, excuse the expression, blossomed since that time.

Pam Uzzell [00:08:32]:
You know, so much comes up in my mind. First of all, when I was looking at your work and at the titles, I really thought that your work you know, you talk about looking for meaning in these natural in nature. And I even feel like your work is another step in that because there's so much that someone can find in your photographs. And I liked your titles because I thought, Oh, that's what J.M. was finding in this photograph. And then I would look at it and I would see things that I saw in that photograph. I really felt like your work reflected this idea of possibility to me, possibility of what we can see and what we can imagine. And I feel like right now where we are now, we really need to start imagining things. I'm wondering, you said several times as you're talking about, you know, in 2013, things felt very different here.

Pam Uzzell [00:09:43]:
And I completely agree. I think, I think even a short time after that 2017 or something is where it almost felt like the switch had been flipped to where all of a sudden there were fast moving super hot fires. And not to put you on the spot, but I am kind of, What are your feelings now in terms of nature, it being a muse for people who are creative and how things are changing? Do you I mean, I have feelings about it, but I'm wondering what your feelings are.

J.M. Golding [00:10:23]:
I'm not entirely focused on fire as kind of central in nature. Even though when I think about it, of course, it's becoming more and more central. So I guess I think more in terms of cycles of nature and having noticed that even just seasonal cycles. I don't know. Having noticed that in a different way maybe than I used to.

Pam Uzzell [00:10:50]:
Could you expand on that a little bit?

J.M. Golding [00:10:53]:
It's kind of like in each season seeing the the next one coming kind of thing. Like, there was a photo in that that series that I titled the seeds of its own renewal where there was still a flower, but the the grasses around it had gone to seed. And I was thinking at that point in terms of that, yeah, this was, you know, renewal was contained in the fire. And there, you know, there were the seeds literally. I mean I think it's certainly possible to photograph and or to see nature in a way that's that's full of foreboding. And there's a part of me that wants to hold on to nature as a as a comfort.

Pam Uzzell [00:11:40]:
I think it's that tension between the mixture of those two things, which is really challenging in a certain way, because I feel like I just took nature for granted, even though, of course, I knew about, you know, global warming. I knew that the effect fossil fuels were having on climate. And I think there came a certain point where I couldn't ignore it anymore, particularly living in California. I think for us, we certainly have our share of flooding and things like that. But I think fire is such a, maybe the more frightening aspect for me at least. And yet I still am always seeking comfort in nature. And so there is that tension of anxiety and fear and concern for how we are affecting nature and knowing that really, I don't think it's just you and me. I think all of us, whether we realize it or not, we really need nature to understand ourselves as humans and to be fully human.

Pam Uzzell [00:12:51]:
And I think that maybe your work appeals to me because it feels like you understand that connection very well.

J.M. Golding [00:13:01]:
I feel that connection. I think I feel very similarly to what you've just described that fire is very frightening and there is a tension between that anxiety and comfort both coming from the world of nature. And yet we see we see ourselves in it. It's complicated.

Pam Uzzell [00:13:27]:
It's so true, but I do feel like maybe there's a certain segment of people who have become disconnected from this idea of seeing themselves in nature. And I am drawn to your work because it feels not anti tech because of course there is a chemistry and a technology and physics and everything going into making these photos, but it feels very open. When you work this way, do you as an artist have to be open to what you get?

J.M. Golding [00:14:05]:
Yes. I absolutely have to be open to what I get. And that's one of the wonderful things for me about working in these kind of photographic processes is that you don't know ahead of time what you're going to get and you don't have complete control. And it's so different from the rest of life where at least I feel like a lot of times I have to be able to predict and control to some extent. And working this way kind of lets me let go of that. And if I let go of it in the work, I think that also transfers to the rest of my life to some extent as well.

Pam Uzzell [00:14:45]:
Right. You know, before we started recording, you told me that the series about the wildflowers was not using a penhole camera or Lumen prints. But could you just explain to people who have never worked with pinhole cameras, what that process is and why it's sort of the ultimate surrender of control if you are a photographer?

J.M. Golding [00:15:09]:
Sure. And by the way, I did use a pinhole camera for a few of the photographs in that series.

Pam Uzzell [00:15:16]:
Okay.

J.M. Golding [00:15:17]:
Yeah. I know keeping track of all the different techniques is kind of it's kind of complicated when when one's not in the middle of doing them. But so a pinhole camera is Christopher James who wrote the book of alternative photographic processes referred to a pinhole camera as nothing but a box of air. That's all it is. It's a light tight box with a teeny tiny hole in it. So it's got no lens, just this teeny tiny hole. And so the exposures can be very long, and I have personally made like 48 minute exposures photographing a creek in the shade. And when that happened, I was like, well, I guess it's time for kind of a river meditation here.

J.M. Golding [00:16:02]:
And I'm just kind of sitting there watching the water. It's a very becomes a very contemplative process.

Pam Uzzell [00:16:09]:
That's so interesting. I never I had never thought about that. These series, some of them you have a dozen to 20 photographs in these series. So you're really immersing yourself in that natural space.

J.M. Golding [00:16:24]:
Yeah. Yeah. I try to spend some time in nature, pretty much on a daily basis, whether or not I'm making exposures or not.

Pam Uzzell [00:16:33]:
The other thing I wanted to bring up about this Wildflower series, After the Fire, I think there's such a strong profession of hope in that series that I find to be really valuable in where we are right now.

J.M. Golding [00:16:53]:
Thank you. Yeah. I think that's kind of what it I mean, that experience of hope was really what it was about for me. It just, you know, when I thought that that loss was this destruction it made room for something new and beautiful. Kinda like what happened on the mountain.

Pam Uzzell [00:17:10]:
That's very interesting. The other thing I what I like about this series is that you're putting nature as the primary focus, which I feel as if that's such an important component when we talk about any type of remedies that we're going to take right now.

J.M. Golding [00:17:33]:
I think so. I think we need to focus on taking care of nature and taking care of ourselves through nature.

Pam Uzzell [00:17:40]:
We are part of nature, which I think is like

J.M. Golding [00:17:44]:
Yes. Yes. Exactly.

Pam Uzzell [00:17:45]:
Which I think is the disconnect for many people right now is that there's no way to destroy nature without destroying ourselves.

J.M. Golding [00:17:55]:
That's right. And I think people do kind of lose sight of that.

Pam Uzzell [00:17:58]:
I sometimes worry as we look for solutions that we're not focusing on nature and being in the Bay Area. I don't know if you read there was going to be is it called a sky brightening or a cloud brightening in Alameda? And it's an attempt to have the Earth absorb less heat, which sounds like a great thing. The city council in Alameda said, no, you're not going to do that here. And there there are certain things like this that I wonder about. Well, how would that affect migrating birds, for example? How would that affect trees that not only on temperature but on light, you know, helps them to complete each yearly cycle of losing leaves and then blooming again. And I think there's often this idea of move fast and break things, which is the tech motto. And that's why I really like your work.

Pam Uzzell [00:19:05]:
You're like moving so slowly and producing such beautiful, beautiful work. Was this an intention? I mean, I I still would love to hear more about how you were drawn to this particular these many different modes of photography.

J.M. Golding [00:19:25]:
Sure. Yeah. And you're the there are people who who speak of slow photography, and I really resonate with that term. And I love that I slow down with photography. And, a lot of people talk about analog slowing you down compared to digital, and I'm actually one of those people who just never went digital. I mean, other than my phone. So I took my 1st darkroom class when I was 11 years old. And one thing I I love about about analog work is that it it has this element of, like, alchemy.

J.M. Golding [00:20:01]:
This image is created out of just light and, you know, maybe silver particles or whatever. I mostly just try to stay as present as I can both to the environment I'm in and to my internal state and experience. So, you know, whatever I'm thinking about I just let myself think it. I allow myself to be drawn to whatever I'm seeing, whatever resonates with me, and to be moved by it. And at the time, I don't ask myself to come up with words about it. I just kind of let it be. It just kind of feels right. I really resonate with what Ruth Bernhardt wrote about this.

J.M. Golding [00:20:39]:
She wrote, A photograph finds you. You do not look for a photograph. Your knowledge of yourself tells you, ah, that's my thing. I'm here for you. Or sometimes I find myself with an idea for an experiment, and usually that's kind of spontaneous and I go, I wonder what would happen if and I try it out. And, again, I'm just letting the image just be an image. It's really nonverbal. And it's afterward when I look at the pictures that the meanings become more verbally clear to me.

J.M. Golding [00:21:12]:
Sometimes. Not always. And I've also noticed that sometimes what I later see in the work seems to express what I would experience consciously weeks afterward. It's like it the work anticipates it which I find really interesting. And in terms of the the specific processes, I love plastic toy cameras because they just they let you be so spontaneous and playful. You don't like make exposure adjustments or anything like that. You can just be with what you're experiencing. And also because of the because the images end up so dreamlike.

J.M. Golding [00:21:51]:
A lot also a lot of the attributes of plastic cameras have been traditionally seen as flaws. And, you know, that's why they gave them to kids in the mid 20th century because, you know, they were cheap even though they weren't very good. And so you get things like blurring and vignetting. And so using toy cameras encourages me to accept and to celebrate imperfection, which is just a joy. And again, you know, pinhole cameras, even simpler than that, they don't have a plastic lens. They have no lens at all. And I really have a sense of wonder that you can make a picture with nothing but a box of air. And then, you know, there are the old film cameras where you can make exposures with the aperture wide open and then you get this incredible blurring in the background.

J.M. Golding [00:22:40]:
And, you know, there was this children's story many, many years ago called Harold and the Purple Crayon.

Pam Uzzell [00:22:46]:
Yeah.

J.M. Golding [00:22:46]:
So people know that. Do you know that story?

Pam Uzzell [00:22:48]:
Yes.

J.M. Golding [00:22:49]:
And you know there's that there's that part about where Harold makes a picnic and there's nothing but pie, but there's the 9 kinds of pie Harold liked best. Well, I'm kinda like that about blur. There are many kinds of blur I like best. Wow. You know? And then I work in camera less techniques. So like the the lumen prints that you've seen. I mean, if a pinhole camera is simple, it's even simpler to make images with nothing but light, basically.

Pam Uzzell [00:23:18]:
I don't understand that process. What is a lumen print?

J.M. Golding [00:23:23]:
Okay. So lumen prints are usually photograms, which means that you take a an object and lay it on a light sensitive paper or other light sensitive substrate, And you put that in the with a lumen print you put it in the sunshine. Now again usually you use sunshine or a UV source. And the amazing thing that happens if you're using photographic papers like old fashioned silver gelatin, black and white paper, is that it turns these incredible colors in the sun.

Pam Uzzell [00:23:57]:
Wow.

J.M. Golding [00:23:58]:
Yeah. And the colors that you get can be really variable. They depend on the kind of paper, how old it is. Old expired paper is great for this. The amount of time you leave it in the sun, where you are geographically, what season it is, what time of day you're making the exposure, the amount of moisture in the materials, probably other things including magic. Right? And when you, use silver gelatin paper to print in the darkroom, you have to develop it with chemically and fix it. But with the lumen print when you've left the stuff out in the sun for so long, you don't have to develop it. You see the image right away.

Pam Uzzell [00:24:40]:
Wow.

J.M. Golding [00:24:41]:
Yeah. Some artists like to fix their lumen prints. If you don't, they fade. But if you do, they change color. I have found that I don't usually like the colors that I've been getting when I've fixed lumen prints, so I don't. And what I do is I just scan them right away and then the digital image becomes the basis of the print. I will admit that I'm not an analog purist in spite of everything else I've said. I'm inconsistent that way.

J.M. Golding [00:25:10]:
I'm okay with that. A lumen print isn't always a photogram. It's possible to make a long exposure on paper and probably on film and a camera through a lens. And in fact, as I was thinking about what we were going to talk about today, I realized there's a form of lumen print that I've been familiar with for a long time that I didn't think of as a lumen print which is called a solargraph. And that's, when you use silver gelatin paper in a pinhole camera and you leave it out for days, weeks, months. A lot of people do them for 6 month periods. And again, the image is immediately visible when you take it out of the camera, and it depicts the sun's path across the sky. So you get these streaks.

J.M. Golding [00:25:58]:
And so they look kind of like rainbows. They're very cool looking. I'm sorry. Did that answer your question?

Pam Uzzell [00:26:04]:
It did. And I just yeah. It's your work is so beautiful. I hope that people who are not familiar with it immediately go and look it up. I'm gonna put your website and everything. I gravitated towards the story of the series of the flowers after the fire. But what I discovered in looking through your work is this reflection of nature that draws me even in more deeply into this wonder of this world we live in. And I think there's such a power to this type of work and your work in particular.

Pam Uzzell [00:26:44]:
And I do have to go back to the words. I'm probably a words first person. And these words you came up with, were they reflections on how you were feeling days, weeks, whatever after taking these particular photos? Or where did you find the words to describe them?

J.M. Golding [00:27:06]:
Finding the words has been hard. There was a time when I didn't title photographs, and a photographer friend of mine was like, you know, who also was an English teacher, and said, you know, you really should title these. And I felt kind of challenged to do it. And sometimes some it's usually just with sitting with the image. Sometimes I do when I'm really stuck. I will go back to thinking about what was going on for me at the time and see if that offers anything in connection with the image. But sometimes, you know, yeah, it's just sitting with the image and seeing what comes, and sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me. But it's sort of like, but this feels like it belongs here.

Pam Uzzell [00:27:53]:
Right. Your work brings to mind something someone said to me, and I'm never gonna remember the author who said this, but it's something along the lines of when everything is an emergency, which it now is the only thing you can do is slow down.

J.M. Golding [00:28:12]:
I love that.

Pam Uzzell [00:28:13]:
Yeah. Your work feels like so many layers of self care built in in terms of, you know, sitting, okay, I need to sit for an hour next to this stream to get this print. And then I need to sit with the print for a while to come up with the title. It just reminds me that progress does not always mean speeding up.

J.M. Golding [00:28:41]:
Yeah. I'm I'm so glad that you can take that from this work. I'm glad that comes through. I really feel the the extent to which the the world has sped up. It seems like in my lifetime certainly.

Pam Uzzell [00:28:57]:
Yeah.

J.M. Golding [00:28:58]:
And it's not how my temperament works.

Pam Uzzell [00:29:01]:
Well, that's lovely. And I think it's such a great model for all of us as we contemplate some of the turning points we seem to be at right now to slow down and really listen and allow what comes to us in the same way that you're allowing the image that's going to come, whether it's your pinhole camera, you know, your lumen print. And it's almost like you let someone or something else lead your work and you are the person just the engagement between your ideas of, for example, I'm going to go photograph this place that was devastated by wildfire and then allowing, you know, the images that came to you in the same way that you're talking about Ruth Bernhardt, what she said about photography is just really beautiful. And it feels very much like both the literal and metaphorical way that we could approach these times that we're in.

J.M. Golding [00:30:10]:
Yeah. Thank you.

Pam Uzzell [00:30:12]:
Well, what have I not asked you that you'd like to say before we close here?

J.M. Golding [00:30:17]:
I think you've kind of covered everything. I mean, I'm I'm absolutely thrilled that you're that you're seeing in the work the experience that I'm having in making it.

Pam Uzzell [00:30:29]:
Yeah. And again, it's an experience even from someone else to come and look at your work because whatever experience you had, it's still open enough for the viewer to have their own experience, which I really love about it.

J.M. Golding [00:30:48]:
It absolutely is. And I don't want it to be too narrow. I don't want it to be too fixed. I want it to have that openness. I'm happy that you experience it there. And I mean making photographs to me is about connection ultimately. I mean it's about connection with nature, with myself, but it's also about connection between us and exactly what you just described.

J.M. Golding [00:31:14]:
When you see in the work, you know, when you see deeply that way what I've what I've put and what I've experienced. That's a very real connection. It's really meaningful.

Pam Uzzell [00:31:25]:
Yeah. It definitely is. Well, J.M., can you tell people where they can see some of this work?

J.M. Golding [00:31:34]:
Sure. My website is jmgolding.com. I have a book of Lumen prints made in collaboration with Helene Barret and there is a page about books on my website. I also am planning to release another book of my own only of my own Lumen prints, but more of them. Wow. Hopefully mid July.

Pam Uzzell [00:31:56]:
That's exciting.

J.M. Golding [00:31:57]:
That should be on the website as well. And, some of those are also going to be in an exhibit in Oakland, California for those folks who are here.

Pam Uzzell [00:32:07]:
Which is me. I'm in Oakland. So

J.M. Golding [00:32:10]:
Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

Pam Uzzell [00:32:11]:
Do you have a newsletter that you do by any chance?

J.M. Golding [00:32:13]:
I do have an email newsletter and anyone who would like to subscribe to that is welcome to drop me a note at the contact page on my website and I will happily add you to the mailing list.

Pam Uzzell [00:32:26]:
Okay. Because that might be a good way to stay informed on any upcoming shows. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on the show, J.M., and for all the I don't wanna say patience because it sounds like a pleasure and patience kind of implies. But for all of the time that you've put into really allowing yourself to experience connection with nature through a creative process.

J.M. Golding [00:32:54]:
Thank you so much for having me and for seeing the work so deeply and connecting with it.

Pam Uzzell [00:33:04]:
You're listening to Art Heals All Wounds.

Pam Uzzell [00:33:31]:
Thank you so much to J.M. Golding for her beautiful work that asks us to de center ourselves and our agendas for even just a few hours. I'll put links to her website in the show notes. I'll also include links to Báyò Akómoláfé's writing, as well as to the Center of Arts and Medicine at the University of Florida. Thank you for listening. I'm wishing everyone a great new year, and hoping that we can slow down and listen for new narratives.The music you've heard in this podcast is by Ketsa and Lobo Loco.This podcast was edited by Iva Hristova.